Author: Dane

Knife Crime Poems by © Allan Bennett

Knife Crime Poems by © Allan Bennett

Seeking Fame Allan Bennett 04.11.18
Trap house , county lines ,10g’s in my pocket ,not even mine.
Big man says “your fame will come in time”
Big man cannot afford to do time so he’s busy wasting mine.
He snatches the Gs , tosses me a half eaten makky D.
This shits not fine , he points a finger “Your arse is mine”.
Time for bed ,feel like i’m dead.
Filthy matress with spots of red ,
stale sweaty sex and rat piss is where I lay my head.
The sun comes up , my teeth are yellow matching the sun’s colour.
Time to up my game , time to switch the lane.
Yo fam meet Rambo , 9 inches long , tonight cheffin is my aim.
High on Drill and weed , the posse rides hard at breakneck speed.
“Hold it bruv , He’ll do , he aint B19 ,he ain’t from this crew”.
Without warning your aim is true , Rambo peirces his heart .
Like a light switching off , his soul departs.
Linton Kwesi Johnson springs to mind
That mournful lyric from his lengthy rhyme.
“Steelblade drinkin’ blood in darkness”,
Now we’ll witness a mother’s sadness.
In , out and back to his pouch tearing muscle and sinue en route.
Spraying like a hose ,the warm glistening crimson fills the air.
Oh my lord more despair.
Next day on road , whispers of the latest killin.
BBC gives it top billin.
KFC for forty pound , nuff man dem come around.
Hold it Bruv i’ve seen that geeza , the sleep over ,remember?
That red top , the frayed sleeve ,the hole in the shoulder , it’s yours.
You cheffed your cousin from Jamaica.
I jerked forward spilling the contents of my guts like a pavement pizza.
Blue lights surround the house , this fame is my end game.

Recruited at nine you take on a new face.
Pistol whipped ,stabbed ,busted mouth ,they show you no grace.
Of your innocent youth , remains no trace.
In your heart , family have no place.
Moulded ,transformed and transported to an evil place
where death for you , a newly acquired taste.
Pulled by the police , you laugh in their face.
Age is your defence,for you ,jail is not the place.
You knowingly smile , you got off with this one.
Freedom you embrace believing you buss case.
Be sure ,” buss case ain’t da case”.
The system professes “in time , in time , you will be mine”.
Keep committing your crimes , at 14 we will draw the line .
By hook or by crook “ YOU WILL BE MINE”
Our pipeline to prison is organized , functioning and fine.
For you , we reserve a measured space ,
deemed to be your final resting place.
buss case ain’t da case.
Allan Bennett

Windrush , Windrush I hear your cry
Windrush , Windrush I hear your cry.

Citizens of Britain ..a total lie!
40,50 ,60 years , under Theresa May you have no leave to stay.
40,50 ,60 years ,we did our best , paid our dues now seeking rest.
Windrush , Windrush I hear your cry.
Citizens of Britain .. a total lie!
Deuteronomy 28:65 warns us:
With vexation I want to cuss.
65 And among these nations shalt thou find no ease, neither shall the sole of thy foot have rest.
May , Rudd and Javid put us to the test.
The deciet and lies did not go as planned , deportation for every man.
We raised a ruckus and made our stand.
Windrush , Windrush I hear your cry.
Citizens of Britain.. a total lie!
Stripped of everything , Identity , homes , pensions , falsely imprisoned ,even left to die.
Ripped from our families like a slave to be sold , yes , oh yes it has to be told.
Windrush , Windrush I hear your cry.
Citizens of Britain.. a total lie!
Allan Bennett

Stone cat , Stone Cat , upon the harsh gravel you have been sat.
So still, lacking in will, rooted and powerless but I beckon you still.
Our every encounter is the same.
You stare ,but yet do I glimpse a soulful imaginary tear?
You change with the seasons , soaking up summer’s warmth inviting your owners touch.
Winter approaches , extracting your embedded summer’s warmth.
Give it up , give it up, winter demands.
Now stone cold and uninviting , your owners touch invokes recoil and is seasonally absent.
Stone cat , Stone Cat , upon the harsh gravel you have been sat.
Allan Bennett




Print or download Self Help for Depression as PDF

Depression can happen to anyone – and does happen to one in four of us over our lifetimes. Different factors that make it more likely to happen, include biological make-up, upbringing, or reaction to life events. What keeps it going though, is how we deal with those things. The way we think and what we do affects the way we feel. Depression is often accompanied by other feelings such as guilt, shame, anger and anxiety.

People who are depressed tend to think very negatively about themselves, the future and the world around them. It can be like seeing life through “gloomy specs“.
Everything is hopeless – nothing can change
I’m useless, worthless
It’s all my fault
The world is a terrible place – everything goes wrong

We can dwell on these thoughts repeatedly, mulling over things, asking ourselves why, thinking regretful things about the past, what we should or shouldn’t have done.

“When the past calls, let it go to voicemail – it has nothing new to say.”

Physical Sensations
Tiredness, fatigue, lethargy
Difficulty concentrating or remembering
Sleep changes (sleep more or less)
Eating changes (eat more or less)
Lose interest in hobbies, activities, sex


Because of the tiredness, difficulty sleeping and eating, and negative style of thinking, we tend to do less and less. We stop doing the things we used to do and enjoy. It could get so bad that we can`t even go to work, or do things at home. We want to stay in bed, or stay at home doing very little. We might isolate ourselves from friends and family.

Vicious Cycle of Depression


Vicious Cogs of Depression

By looking at the “cogs” that keep the central problem going, we can target and make positive changes in each of the cogs, which will at least, slow down, and at best, stop, the central problem, for example:

Vicious cogs of depression

Print a blank Cogs PDF and fill in the factors that keep your depression going.

Depression Self Help VIDEO


Activity & Physical Exercise

When we’re depressed, we can feel particularly tired and lack any motivation to do anything.   Just increasing our activity and exercise levels can make an enormous impact on our mood as it stimulates the body to produce natural anti-depressants.  Just increasing our activity and exercise levels can make an enormous impact on our mood by:

  • Making us feel better about ourselves
  • Making us feel less tired
  • Motivating us to do more
  • Improving our ability to think more clearly
  • Helping us think about something other than focussing on our unhelpful thoughts
  • Using up the adrenaline resources created by anxiety and anger
  • Increasing motivation
  • Giving us a sense of achievement
  • Enjoyment
  • Being with other people
  • Stimulating the body to produce natural anti-depressants
  • Making us generally more healthy
  • Stimulating our appetite

Schedule ACE activities each day which give you a sense of:

  • Achievement
  • Closeness to others
  • Enjoyment 


Use an Activity Diary, or the ACE Log  PDFs

ACE Activity – video

It’s important to get a healthy balance of activities which give you a sense of achievement, enjoyment and being close to others. Choose activities which are important to you, have positive meanings, or are purposeful, and you might want to plan rest periods too.

Keep your goals realistic and set achievable limits. Eg aim to walk for 15 minutes rather than a half-marathon, or wash the dishes rather than spring clean the whole house. Don`t set yourself up to fail! You can build up your activity over time.

If you struggle with motivation….use the 5 minute rule. Commit to do the activity for just 5 minutes. After 5 minutes, you can choose to stop or continue (and you might find that you want to continue)

Nature as Therapy

See NHS Exercise Videos here

Rewarding yourself
When you’re doing well, or remembering to pace yourself, doing more of what helps, or doing less of what doesn’t – give yourself a treat, a pat on the back.


If lack of activity and tiredness is helping to maintain our negative thinking, and therefore keeping us depressed, then doing more (in spite of feeling tired and depressed) will help us feel better.

Do something different (to what you normally do)

  • Mindfulness – learn Mindful Breathing
  • Focus your attention fully on another activity – Mindful activity
  • Relaxation techniques – try lots and find one that works for you
  • Put on some music – sing and dance along, or just listen attentively (use music that is likely to help you feel your desired emotion – avoid sad songs if you`re depressed)
  • Meditation or Prayer
  • Help others
  • Be with others – contact a friend, visit family
  • Talk to someone
  • Grounding techniques – look around you, what do you see, hear, smell, sense? Hold a comforting object.
  • Physical exercise – walk, swim, go to the gym, cycle
  • Nature as Therapy
  • Engage in a hobby or other interest – if you don`t have one, find one! What have you enjoyed in the past? What have you sometimes thought about doing but not got around to?
  • Recharge your battery and plan more energising activities – do more of those things that help you feel better (see video below)
  • Write down your thoughts and feelings – get them out of your head.  Just write, or use a thought record sheet.
  • Just take one step at a time – don`t plan too far ahead
  • Pamper yourself – do something you really enjoy, or do something relaxing
  • Positive self-talk – encourage yourself, tell yourself: I can do this, I am strong and capable – find an affirmation that works for you (even if you don`t believe it at first!). Write it down and memorise it for when you need it.
  • Do something creative – make a box of items that remind you to use the techniques that help, or put photos on paper, or write and decorate a list
  • Consider using a Light Box– particularly with Seasonal Affective Disorder (Depression due to lack of natural light, e.g. every winter, although some people experience SAD at other times)
  • Use Safe Place Imagery
  • Colour breathing
  • Tell yourself: “This will pass, it`s only temporary”. “I`ve got through this before, I can do it now”. When we`re going through a tunnel and become fearful of being trapped, there`s no point in stopping – we just have to carry on in order to reach the end of the tunnel. That light is there, and waiting!
  • Notice the positives – write down or record 3 positive things every day.

Visualise yourself enjoying doing the things you used to enjoy doing, or would like to enjoy doing, and successfully doing the things you need to do.

The Battery:  LIFT vs DROP activities


STOPP! Pause, take a breath 
Ask yourself:

  • What am I reacting to? What have I been thinking about here?
  • Am I getting things out of proportion?
  • Is this fact or opinion?
  • How important is this really? How important will it be in 6 months time?
  • Am I expecting something from this person or situation that is unrealistic?
  • What is the worst (and best) that could happen? What is most likely to happen?
  • Am I using that negative filter? Those gloomy specs? Is there another way of looking at it?
  • What advice would I give to someone else in this situation?
  • Am I spending time ruminating about the past or worrying about the future? What could I do right now that would help me feel better?
  • When I think back to that time I made such a bad decision, could I be looking at it with a hindsight bias?
  • Am I putting more pressure on myself, setting up expectations of myself that are almost impossible? What would be more realistic?
  • Am I jumping to conclusions about what this person meant? Am I (mis)reading between the lines? Is it possible that they meant something else?
  • What do I want or need from this person or situation? What do they want or need from me? Is there a compromise?
  • Am I just focusing on the worst possible thing that could happen? What would be more realistic?
  • Is there another way of looking at this?  The helicopter view
  • Am I exaggerating the good aspects of others, and putting myself down?  Or am I exaggerating the negative and minimising the positives? How would someone else see it? What`s the bigger picture?
  • Notice the positives
  • Things aren`t either totally white or totally black, there are always shades of grey. Where is this on the spectrum?
  • This is just a reminder of the past. That was then, and this is now. Even though this memory makes me feel upset, it`s not actually happening again right now.
  • What would be the consequences of doing what I normally do?
  • Is there another way of dealing with this? What would be the most helpful and effective action to take? (for me, for the situation, for the other person)
  • Challenge your automatic thoughts

Visualisation: Breathe in orange (for positive energy) and breathe out blue/black.  Colour breathing  

Best Explanation for Anxiety Self Help

Best Explanation for Anxiety Self Help

Anxiety is the body’s way of responding to being in danger. Adrenaline is rushed into our bloodstream to enable us to run away or fight. This happens whether the danger is real, or whether we believe the danger is there when actually there is none. It is the body’s alarm and survival mechanism. Primitive man wouldn’t have survived for long without this life-saving response. It works so well, that it often kicks in when it’s not needed – when the danger is in our heads rather than in reality. We think we’re in danger, so that’s enough to trigger the system to go, go, go!

 People who get anxious tend to get into scanning mode – where they’re constantly on the lookout for danger, hyper-alert to any of the signals, and make it more likely that the alarm system will be activated.

Anxiety Thoughts
I’m in danger right now
The worst possible scenario is going to happen
I won’t be able to cope with it

Physical Sensations – The Adrenaline Response
When there is real, or we believe there is a real, threat or danger, our bodies’ automatic survival mechanism kicks in very quickly. This helps energise us to fight or run away (‘fight or flight response’). The action urge associated with anxiety is to escape or avoid. We will therefore notice lots of physical sensations.

Adrenaline:  Click to enlarge


Anxiety Behaviours

  • Avoiding people or places
  • Not going out
  • Going to certain places at certain times, e.g. shopping at smaller shops, at less busy times
  • Only going with someone else
  • Escape, leave early
  • Safety Behaviours:  Go to the feared situation, but use coping behaviours to get you through, such as: holding a drink, smoking more, fiddling with clothes or handbag, avoiding eye contact with others, having an escape plan, taking medication. Safety behaviours can also help to keep your anxiety going. Whilst you depend on them to help you cope, you don’t get to find out that without them, the anxiety would reduce and go away on it’s own.

Whilst avoiding people or situations might help you feel better at that time, it doesn’t make your anxiety any better over a longer period. If you’re frightened that your anxiety will make you pass out or vomit in the supermarket aisle, you won’t find out that won’t actually happen, because you don’t go. So the belief that it will happen remains, along with the anxiety.

Vicious Cycle of Anxiety


We all feel anxious some times. A certain amount of anxiety helps us to be more alert and focused. For example just prior to an exam, a few exam nerves have a positive effect – motivating us, helping us focus our thoughts on the job in hand, making us more alert. Too much anxiety, or constantly being anxious, is unhealthy and detrimental to our lives and relationships.

Vicious Cogs of Anxiety

By looking at the “cogs” that keep the central problem going, we can target and make positive changes in each of the cogs, which will at least, slow down, and at best, stop, the central problem, for example:


Print a blank Cogs PDF and fill in the factors that keep your anxiety going

Anxiety Self Help VIDEO

Identify your triggers

What or when are the times when you are more likely to get anxious? If you can see the patterns, then maybe you can do something about those situations, and do something different.  See Overcoming Avoidance.

  • Certain places?
  • Certain people?
  • Anytime, anyplace?
  • See certain things?
  • Hear certain things?
  • Think ahead to certain situation?

If avoiding situations and using safety behaviours helps to maintain our anxiety over the long-term, then it makes sense that learning to confront it might be uncomfortable in the short-term, but will help us take control and helps us feel better over time.

Make a plan to gradually do the things you normally avoid. For instance if you normally avoid going out to big social events at work, then start with a small dinner at a restaurant where you feel more comfortable, with few close colleagues – not the annual Christmas party! Whilst it will feel uncomfortable, you will learn that you can enjoy these events, and that the anxious feeling does go away.

Make a hierarchy of fears.  If you have a fear of particular types of places (e.g. lifts), then you could start by listing different particular places (smaller, bigger lifts, taller, smaller buildings, glass walls or enclosed etc). You could start by standing next to a lift for a couple of minutes each day for a couple of weeks, then slowly build up to standing in the doorway with the doors open, then to getting in the lift without the doors closing, then to letting the doors close before opening them again, then to going up one floor etc. You can use breathing techniques or self-talk (challenging your unhelpful thoughts and repeating more realistic thoughts) to get you through these times.  See Overcoming Avoidance

FACE Fear and Avoidance – VIDEO

If you normally depend on ‘safety behaviours’ to help you cope, then list them in order of importance, then start by dropping or not doing the least important, and gradually work your way up over time.

What to do when you feel anxious 

STOPP    Pause, take a breath, don’t react automatically


Ask yourself

  • What am I reacting to?
  • What is it that I think is going to happen here?
  • Is this fact or opinion?
  • What’s the worst (and best) that could happen? What’s most likely to happen?
  • Am I getting things out of proportion?
  • How important is this really? How important will it be in 6 months time?
  • Am I overestimating the danger?
  • Am I underestimating my ability to cope?
  • Am I mind-reading what others might be thinking?
  • Am I believing I can predict the future?
  • Is there another way of looking at this?  What’s the helicopter view?
  • What advice would I give someone else in this situation?
  • Am I putting more pressure on myself?
  • Just because I feel bad, doesn’t mean things really are bad.
  • What do I want or need from this person or situation? What do they want or need from me? Is there a compromise?
  • What would be the consequences of responding the way I usually do?
  • Is there another way of dealing with this? What would be the most helpful and effective action to take? (for me, for the situation, for others)
  • Challenge your automatic thoughts

Visualise yourself successfully coping with the situation that you feel anxious about. See it through to a successful completion.

How to deal with the physical sensations of anxiety

Counteract the body’s adrenaline response – it’s readiness for action, by using that energy healthily. 

  • Practice calming or mindful breathing – this one act alone will help reduce the physical sensations, emotions and intensity of thoughts.
  • VisualisationColour breathing.  Breathe in blue (for calm) and breathe out red.
  • Go for a walk, run or cycle, or maybe do some gardening or housework.

There are different kinds of Anxiety Disorders, so it might be helpful to identify if one of these fits for you: