Category: Blog

How to have great self esteem

How to have great self esteem

John (Rainford) has mentored hundreds of individuals and businesses and helped them to succeed. He does it by releasing peoples ‘inner leadership.’ 

Often this is closed off for most people who don’t realise their own potential for success and how to access this inner leadership and freedom. 

Inner leadership is the person in you that you have either ignored because of your upbringing or it lies dormant waiting to surface and you haven’t realised it. Many entrepreneurs have woken up to their own potential and realised that they have choices they didn’t think that they had.

My definition of happiness, I tell my students is having choices. Having no choices is the definition of unhappiness.

I am amazed today that more and more youngsters feel they have little choice but to do as they are told because its in their best interest. Whenever they challenge these protocols or rules they are shouted down and told to behave normally like everyone else. The falsehood with this analogy is that no one person is the same as anyone else. We are all unique we are told, but we need to conform and be like everyone else. Breaking out of this cycle of conformity can be difficult, but if we want to have choices in life, we need to challenge these assumptions that we inherit from the condition that society places up on us. This does not mean we can wreck institutions or people that don’t agree with us, rather it can free us to be ourselves once we realise whats actually going on with ourselves and with other people.

So what is going on?

The reality is that we are all brainwashed into thinking we have no choices, everyone we speak to, parents, friends, teachers, acquaintances, people in the street. Am I advocating rebellion? No, I am advocating ‘wake up’ and smell the coffee, figure out what is going on. 

No this isn’t conspiracy theory, but it is like the Matrix (in the film) where we are all in a very structured society. This is not bad, if you don’t mind being asleep, but it can lead to misery, self doubt and low self esteem. Like, “no matter how hard I try – no matter what I do I cannot seem to make great choices.” And yet, we do all have that capacity for self realisation, waking up, and self actualisation. Self actualisation means – being the very best you can be.

We can start to wake up by saying No, to every request that is presented to us. Our friend asks us to do something or go somewhere, we automatically say YES. Our automatic responses are our worst enemy and controls the way we think and act and it is a sure way to remain asleep and some would say depressed.

I will demonstrate what I mean, try something for me. Fold your arms.

Now fold them the other way. 

Ask your self what just happened?

If you didn’t know it, you have just broken your automatic reactions. 

When you get into a shower you will always get in the same way. Everything for you is automatic. Yes I will do that favour for you. We often agree to things before we are asked to do anything. 

To be awake you need to realise that we are all automatons. We just do what everyone expects everyday, without even questioning why we are doing things, this way or that. 

I remember that when I voted in an election I always voted in a certain way, because my father had always voted in the same way. I never questioned what I was doing I was doing it all unconsciously, without giving it a second thought. Now, because I am awake, I question my choices. Am I doing the right thing? 

Now it comes back to the beginning, we don’t have a diagnosis – we just make assumptions. This is not a good way to live, being on automatic pilot means all of your prejudices and bad habits are controlling you.

The worse thing that can happen to you is lack of control and it is the seat of unhappiness. If people are telling what to do all the time, and what to think, you will never be happy – because you are acting out your life according to other peoples expectations and wishes of what you should do with your life, instead of making choices for yourself.

Having no choices means you are being controlled and if you go along with it all the time, you are going to be unhappy. 

Happiness is having choices and being in control of your own destiny.

Wake up and you can be truly happy. 

Knife Crime Poems by © Allan Bennett

Knife Crime Poems by © Allan Bennett

Seeking Fame Allan Bennett 04.11.18
Trap house , county lines ,10g’s in my pocket ,not even mine.
Big man says “your fame will come in time”
Big man cannot afford to do time so he’s busy wasting mine.
He snatches the Gs , tosses me a half eaten makky D.
This shits not fine , he points a finger “Your arse is mine”.
Time for bed ,feel like i’m dead.
Filthy matress with spots of red ,
stale sweaty sex and rat piss is where I lay my head.
The sun comes up , my teeth are yellow matching the sun’s colour.
Time to up my game , time to switch the lane.
Yo fam meet Rambo , 9 inches long , tonight cheffin is my aim.
High on Drill and weed , the posse rides hard at breakneck speed.
“Hold it bruv , He’ll do , he aint B19 ,he ain’t from this crew”.
Without warning your aim is true , Rambo peirces his heart .
Like a light switching off , his soul departs.
Linton Kwesi Johnson springs to mind
That mournful lyric from his lengthy rhyme.
“Steelblade drinkin’ blood in darkness”,
Now we’ll witness a mother’s sadness.
In , out and back to his pouch tearing muscle and sinue en route.
Spraying like a hose ,the warm glistening crimson fills the air.
Oh my lord more despair.
Next day on road , whispers of the latest killin.
BBC gives it top billin.
KFC for forty pound , nuff man dem come around.
Hold it Bruv i’ve seen that geeza , the sleep over ,remember?
That red top , the frayed sleeve ,the hole in the shoulder , it’s yours.
You cheffed your cousin from Jamaica.
I jerked forward spilling the contents of my guts like a pavement pizza.
Blue lights surround the house , this fame is my end game.

Recruited at nine you take on a new face.
Pistol whipped ,stabbed ,busted mouth ,they show you no grace.
Of your innocent youth , remains no trace.
In your heart , family have no place.
Moulded ,transformed and transported to an evil place
where death for you , a newly acquired taste.
Pulled by the police , you laugh in their face.
Age is your defence,for you ,jail is not the place.
You knowingly smile , you got off with this one.
Freedom you embrace believing you buss case.
Be sure ,” buss case ain’t da case”.
The system professes “in time , in time , you will be mine”.
Keep committing your crimes , at 14 we will draw the line .
By hook or by crook “ YOU WILL BE MINE”
Our pipeline to prison is organized , functioning and fine.
For you , we reserve a measured space ,
deemed to be your final resting place.
buss case ain’t da case.
Allan Bennett

Windrush , Windrush I hear your cry
Windrush , Windrush I hear your cry.

Citizens of Britain ..a total lie!
40,50 ,60 years , under Theresa May you have no leave to stay.
40,50 ,60 years ,we did our best , paid our dues now seeking rest.
Windrush , Windrush I hear your cry.
Citizens of Britain .. a total lie!
Deuteronomy 28:65 warns us:
With vexation I want to cuss.
65 And among these nations shalt thou find no ease, neither shall the sole of thy foot have rest.
May , Rudd and Javid put us to the test.
The deciet and lies did not go as planned , deportation for every man.
We raised a ruckus and made our stand.
Windrush , Windrush I hear your cry.
Citizens of Britain.. a total lie!
Stripped of everything , Identity , homes , pensions , falsely imprisoned ,even left to die.
Ripped from our families like a slave to be sold , yes , oh yes it has to be told.
Windrush , Windrush I hear your cry.
Citizens of Britain.. a total lie!
Allan Bennett

Stone cat , Stone Cat , upon the harsh gravel you have been sat.
So still, lacking in will, rooted and powerless but I beckon you still.
Our every encounter is the same.
You stare ,but yet do I glimpse a soulful imaginary tear?
You change with the seasons , soaking up summer’s warmth inviting your owners touch.
Winter approaches , extracting your embedded summer’s warmth.
Give it up , give it up, winter demands.
Now stone cold and uninviting , your owners touch invokes recoil and is seasonally absent.
Stone cat , Stone Cat , upon the harsh gravel you have been sat.
Allan Bennett